I read a quote (somewhere, sometime) that really resonated with me, and that I think of often. In a nutshell, it says, “To try is to give yourself permission to fail.” If you say it aloud, it means one thing, and if you think about it for a bit, it means something else. Both, I think, pretty inspiring.
It’s written on the wall of the gym now, and someone asked about it the other day, saying, “well, I don’t agree- I think you should always try.” I agree wholeheartedly.
However, one of the discussions I often have with my seven year old son is that you should always try your best, but beyond that, DO your best. Sometimes I’ll say, “Make it a great day,” and he’ll say “I’ll try”. Well, okay. More frustratingly (for a mom) I’ll say, “Behave and use your manners,” and he’ll say, “I’ll try.” This is where I think that the one meaning of the phrase comes into play. By saying he’ll “try,” he’s basically, in my opinion (though I know he’s seven) giving himself an “out,” in case he doesn’t behave, and gets in trouble. He can always just say, “well, I tried.” Nice “try”. This goes back to the many conversations about who controls your body and your own behavior- that little thing we call free will, you know.
So how does this relate to me, you might ask? Well, I think the same thing is true of us “grown ups.” We sometimes do add that little loophole of “I’ll try” to give ourselves permission to fail. Think about it. How many times have you said, or heard someone say, “I’ll try…” to quit smoking, to start working out, to go on a diet, to get that done/ meet that goal… the list goes on and on. When it doesn’t happen, we can console ourselves with the idea that we “tried,” even though we may not have (and usually haven’t) tried very hard.
If we look at the same phrase another way, it becomes much less of a loophole and much more of a freeing ideal. Sometimes, the reason we say, “I’ll try” and don’t succeed is because we didn’t really try, because we’re afraid- of something, of ourselves, of the unknown. If instead of just “trying,” we make up our mind to do it, whatever “it” is, we don’t give ourselves an out. Don’t just try to start getting healthier, losing weight, or tackling your dreams. As Nike says, just do it. Don’t equivocate, don’t procrastinate- just get up, and get started. Only then can we say we really tried, and in doing so, we’ve decided that we’re stronger than our fears or hesitations; that sometimes it is indeed okay to fail, as long as we have tried. Give yourself a break, don’t wake up tomorrow and say you’re going to run a marathon if you’re not ready to start training right now. Get up tomorrow and just start training. Run the marathon, walk the marathon, or limp the marathon, but DO it, and actually try- don’t just say you did.

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